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SHOCKINGLY seven in ten singletons say they’ve given up on dating. Why? Because half of them say they’re put off by constantly meeting liars.
But are the signs there from the very first date? The Sun takes a look at the red flags that could mean your new love interest is out to break your heart.
GettyAccording to an expert, there are numerous signs your date could be lying to you[/caption]
As many as 74 per cent singletons have either given up or have chosen to take ‘a lengthy break’ from finding love, according to a poll by dating site Seeking.
And an incredible 51 per cent said they have been fibbed to about their date’s age, while a third have turned up to find the person was shorter or taller than they were told.
Relationship therapist Rhian Kivits told The Sun: “Sadly, lots of people do lie, especially on dating profiles or when they are messaging before a date. Often they do this through insecurity.
“They want to get a date, but they have no confidence, so they post fake photos or tell lies about their age or height.
“This doesn’t necessarily mean they are abusive or dangerous, but if you spot this, it’s fair to ask, ‘Is this right for me?’
“Most of us probably don’t want to date someone who is presenting themselves as someone they are not.”
But that’s not the only white lie your date could dupe you with – there are seven red flags, according to Rhian, which might indicate a potential partner is telling porkies.
1. ‘Too good to be true’ dating profiles
If someone’s profile looks highly managed with model-like photos, and it all feels just a bit too good to be true, then it probably is.
People have been known to use AI photos or internet pictures that aren’t even them. Trust your intuition and if something in your gut gives you the impression it isn’t right, then it might be fake.
Look for photos of them doing a genuine hobby, such as playing golf.
But they should be on a course really playing, not just posing up nearby.
I like it when other people are in their photos, at a family barbecue, for example. This shows someone is a genuine person.
2. Question dodging
GettyVague answers can be a sign your date isn’t being truthful[/caption]
Sometimes you might get chatting to someone and find they are dodging your questions.
You ask where they work, and they just say ‘all over the place’ or ‘I travel a lot’. That’s a red flag.
You might ask where and they say ‘the south west’, but that’s a big place.
Whilst I’d never expect someone to be specific, it’s reasonable to have some idea of what someone does and which town they live in before you meet up.
The same goes for relationship status. If they are being cagey or say ‘it’s complicated’, that’s not a promising sign.
3. Refuses a video call
GettyIf they refuse to do a video call before a date it can be a red flag[/caption]
You can rule out a lot of fibs by meeting on a video call before a real date.
If they weren’t the age they told you, or the height, you’d know instantly.
If they say no to the call, what is it they don’t want you to see? Maybe they are sitting on the couch with their partner.
Liars can be very clever, so whilst you can never 100 per cent protect yourself, a video call beforehand is a great way of weeding out fibbers.
4. You share the same loves and hobbies
What some liars will do is ask an awful lot of questions about you.
Then they’ll say, ‘Oh, I love that too. ‘ It might be what you like to eat, where you like to hang out, whether you like swimming or going to the cinema.
What they are doing is painting themselves as your ideal partner and setting up a web of lies so you almost fall in love before you meet them.
This is a very negative trait, often used by narcissists, and they are very likely disingenuous.
If whatever you love, they love, it’s not always a good sign.
5. Overly rehearsed anecdotes
If they are telling stories or anecdotes that feel a little too polished rather than spontaneously shared, maybe they are not telling the whole truth.
When every detail is just so, you should be wondering what they have left out.
Look out for inconsistencies in their tales.
Perhaps in one version of the story, they were with a friend, then their brother.
Maybe it was last week the first time they told you, then last year.
And if they always paint themselves as the hero of the story, the one always in the right, perhaps they are not being 100 per cent honest.
6. Little or no digital footprint
GettyIf someone has no presence online, it could be a cause for concern[/caption]
Most of us have a very big digital footprint these days. If there is nothing about them online, ask about it.
If they deleted a profile, why? If they have profiles under different names, why?
We can all look someone up before going on a date, and it’s healthy to do so. You might see they used to have a different job and switched careers, or their hair colour is different.
Just say ‘I did a sneaky Google of you’. If they are a genuine person, they won’t mind.
They’ll laugh and say, ‘Yes, I used to have red hair’. If they are cagey, something is up.
7. Suspicious smartphone activity
GettyA phone always being place down on a table could mean they are hiding something[/caption]
Perhaps they are unusually protective of their phone when you meet up.
They might turn it face down or step away to reply.
They might not want you to see notifications pop up if it’s from a partner or someone else they are dating.
If you are on a date, they shouldn’t be on their phone too much anyway.
If they are, they might be texting their partner to say they are going to be late home from work.
Of course, this is not always the case but if they are on their phone a lot – ask why – and see how they react.
Why do people catfish others on dating apps?
Speaking to Techopedia, professional dating coach Jacob Lucas reveals how to see if someone is a catfish on dating apps.
A lot of people are insecure about themselves. They may not be very confident about dating or making friends, or about the way they look, so they create this fake persona. When they get attention and receive compliments, they then feel validated.
Very often, catfishes are in that person’s life already, so they already know them. Sometimes, it can be started off as a joke and then it spirals out of control. People can become addicted to it and it becomes a habit.
The third reason is that as weird as it sounds, they think they’re doing the right thing. If it’s a friend who has a lot of bad luck in their love life, they want to give them confidence. But they often get stuck in the habit and can’t stop doing it.
And finally, its could be that the person is trying to extort money from the other person. They may ask for a small amount of money to pay for their electricity bill for example to start off with, but if they do, it can spiral into a large amount of money. They use romance to get people to send them money.
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