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Shouting over from the touchlines, it’s safe to say that Thomas Tuchel is perhaps considered a more passionate man than Sir Gareth Southgate.
On Saturday night, after England sealed the deal and inched one step closer to World Cup glory, Tuchel made sure to keep his team in line.
‘We made life very, very difficult for ourselves today. The result is fantastic. We are in the last four. It’s amazing but not happy with the performance – in every sense,‘ he told ITV reporters.
‘We were lucky today. We will get better. We need to. Now it’s celebration. Now it’s taking it all in. We have three days. We need everything.’
His comments might seem prickly, but it’s a classic example of tough love.
Rather than switching England fans off, this kind of hard attitude is stirring up a different kind of passion: proclamations that Tuchel is the ‘fittest’ England manager in our country’s history. Sorry, Southgate.
‘I think he’s such a gorgeous, maybe a generational gorgeous, England guy,’ Beth McColl, the host of the Everything Is Content podcast said.
‘That’s my man. Isn’t he stunning?’
Over on social media, countless fans agreed. Various accounts posted pictures of Tuchel in his younger years with no context or explanation given, while another, by the name of Gwen, added: ‘He’s got a very grounding presence, you immediately trust him. Big leader energy.’
Pearl said, ‘he’s genuinely so fit,’ while another wrote, ‘he’s definitely my “hear me out.” His cheekbones and eyes are beautiful.’
Tuchel isn’t the only England man the girlies have been lusting over.
Jude Bellingham might be the current backbone of the Three Lions, having scored both goals against Norway on Saturday night, but he’s also a bit of a heartthrob. All you need to do is search his name on TikTok and the fan accounts have already provided plenty of thirsty edits.
The same is true of Djed Spence, Declan Rice, and Noni Madueke. They’re all certified fitties (and very admirable players, of course).
But what’s going on behind the scenes of our slightly left-field crush on Tuchel? Metro spoke to a couple of experts to find out.
‘Attraction is more than physical appearance’
As Debbie Keenan, a senior BACP-accredited psychotherapist, explains, attraction is often about much more than purely physical appearance.
She tells Metro: ‘We’re naturally drawn to people who are confident, competent, and emotionally secure. Thomas Tuchel has many of these qualities through his leadership of the England team.
‘Seeing him command respect and inspire his players, having them, as the saying goes, “eating out of his hand,” can make him appear more attractive because our brains often associate competence and authority with desirability, which is known as the “halo effect.”‘
In Debbie’s view, the attraction factor is less about him being ‘mean,’ and more about him coming across as ‘decisive, assertive, and confident.’
She adds: ‘Strong leadership, clear boundaries, and the ability to perform under extreme pressure can be very attractive traits in a person.’
Hannah Jackson-McCamley, also a BACP-registered psychotherapist who works in the field of sex and relationships, adds that Tuchel being a football coach implies two factors: genetic health and fitness.
And these are pretty sexy traits.
‘His role as England manager suggests social success, and he may exude character traits such as efficiency and confidence,’ she explains, adding that his tactical intelligence, commanding presence, and fiery sideline vibe may also be contributing factors.
She notes: ‘Tuchel may also be deemed attractive due to the exposure effect.
‘If he was a colleague IRL, we might not give him a second glance, but the intensity of the World Cup coverage means he is on our screens and in our homes, which develops an illusory intimacy.
‘It’s an opportunity to project positive traits onto him. Familiarity breeds a sense of comfort, safety and also acceptability, which for some, may enhance Tuchel’s attraction.’
Fancying Tuchel and parasocial relationships
Tuchel isn’t the only unlikely crush many of us have secretly been harbouring. After Keir Starmer announced his intention to step down as prime minister, Andy Burnham was soon plastered not just over our TV screens, but over our TikTok feeds, as lusty fan edits hit the algorithm.
Georgina Sturmer, a psychotherapist and counsellor, previously told Metrot hat the lusty obsession with Andy likely has more to do with parasocial relationships than anything else (AKA, the way we relate to people we don’t actually know). The same is true of Tuchel.
She said: ’These might be politicians, musicians, film stars or other people in the public eye. And while elements of these relationships are based on reality, they are often also amplified by the assumptions and characteristics that we project onto these people.’
It’s not just the idea of obsessing over someone you’ve never met, either. Power comes into it, which we know can be pretty sexy.
And Tuchel has that by the bucketload; he’s literally got the whole nation in the palm of his hands.
‘It’s natural that we might find the idea of a powerful person to be an attractive one,’ Georgina added.
‘If we consider someone else to be powerful, then there’s an implicit suggestion that they might be able to protect us and keep us secure.
‘It’s not necessarily the power itself that we’re attracted to, but it’s the qualities we might link with it.’
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