More goals, a dance partner and a bomb squad – an A to Z of ‘All I want for Christmas’

A is for Andy Farrell: “Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a new front row, a one-tonne scrum, a bomb squad if I’m extra good, and a solemn promise that I’ll never again to subjected to a match that involves either Rassie Erasmus or Matthew Carley. Speaking of which, please don’t send any more cards … ”