7 Steps For More (And Better) Female Orgasms After 60

1 week ago 6

I probably don’t need to sell you on orgasms. But you might be as surprised as I was to learn that they seem to be pretty good for us as we age – for instance, they can strengthen the pelvic floor and boost mental health.

So it’s a good thing that one study shows women over 60 are increasingly using sex toys to climax.

Still, women are on the wrong end of the “orgasm gap” to begin with, and secondary anorgasmia – the acquired inability to orgasm – can occur after menopause.

Here, we spoke to licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at Passionerad, Sofie Roos, about how women can achieve the “big O” after 60 (and why it’s such a good idea).

How women can achieve more (and better) orgasms after 60

1) Give your body time to warm up

“After menopause, reduced oestrogen levels can make you experience vaginal dryness,” said Roos, which can mean it takes “longer” to get warmed up for sex.

And the things that turn us on might change, too.

“It’s therefore a great idea to invest more time in kissing and foreplay before going for direct clitoral or vaginal stimulation,” the expert advised.

2) Try new things

The sexologist said it’s normal to find that what felt good in your 30s isn’t as thrilling in your 60s. You might “need to stimulate your clitoris differently to reach all the way, or [find] that you prefer lighter pressure during vaginal penetration,” she shared.

So, it’s a great time to explore. Try new forms of masturbation, use different levels of intensity and speeds, and generally embrace your more “playful and curious side”, advised the expert.

3) Give toys a go

Research suggests that women over 60 who use sex toys more often are also likelier to have more frequent orgasms – and if you ask Roos, that’s no coincidence.

“My best recommendation for newbies is to invest in an air pulse vibrator, as they’re affordable, yet capable of giving a deep, smooth and steady stimulation that gives amazing clitoral orgasms without tiring your hand,” she advised.

“Go for a model with plenty of intensity levels, so you are free to experiment with different types of stimulation, and... have a greater chance to find what works well for you.”

Toys can be used alone or with a partner. It’s up to you!

4) Lube, lube, and more lube

Lube is about to be your “new best friend” in the bedroom if it isn’t already, suggested the sexologist.

Women tend to experience more vaginal dryness after menopause, which can create friction and sometimes cause pain during intimacy.

Water-based lubrication can help, and not just for sex – use it while “stimulating your clit, having penetrative sex, [or] using sex toys or your own hands” for a better experience.

Non-perfumed options are best, Roos told us. And “if lube isn’t enough, then try a vaginal moisturiser between the sessions”.

She added that if you’re still having issues with dryness, speak to your GP who might recommend vaginal oestrogen therapy.

5) Try to let go of the pressure to perform

It sounds paradoxical, but letting go of the pressure to orgasm can help you to have a better time in bed.

“You don’t have to orgasm every time, and penetrative sex [might] not be something you want... each time you and your partner are being intimate,” the pro informed us.

She advises shifting your focus to “whatever feels great in the moment” and honing in on enjoying being close to your partner. “Remember that meaningful sex is less about what you do or what happens, but about how it feels,” she added.

6) Communicate

If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, they might think they know your sexual preferences, “but as what you like and enjoy changes, it’s important that you let your partner know what you’re into and what works right now,” added Roos.

Respectful and open communication can help you to explain your needs in a loving way, and can make future conversations feel more like a collaborative effort than a “problem to be solved”.

7) Take care of your overall health

“Your sexual health isn’t isolated from the rest of your health,” said the sexologist, who advised prioritising the following to stay well:

Eating a balanced diet,Exercising regularly,Sleeping the recommended 7-8 hours a night,Spending quality time with yourself and loved ones,Avoiding heavy drinking and smoking,Learning stress coping mechanisms,Spending more time on things that bring you joy.

And if you need to, seek professional help. Remember, you should never have to accept painful or uncomfortable sex, nor is a “dead bedroom” an inevitable part of ageing.