"Justice" in Minnesota [semi-satire]

Dylan Bryan Adams, one of Gov. Tim Walz's staff members, was observed doing $20,000 in damage to six Teslas. Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty says she will not seek criminal charges. "It really wouldn't be fair to Mr. Adams," Moriarty said. "First of all, his boss publicly praised the damage being done to Teslas because they are manufactured by Elon Musk's company. Musk is helping Trump destroy the country. While the Governor didn't expressly order Mr. Adams to join in this form of peaceful protest against a person the Governor hated, Mr. Adams can't be blamed for trying to please...