World Breathes Sigh Of Relief As Terrorists Promise To Be Good

WORLD — Citizens across the globe breathed a collective sigh of relief after learning that the government of Iran has promised to be good from here on out as part of the peace deal negotiated by President Donald Trump. The announcement came as final details of the deal were released to Congress this week, including a provisional agreement by Iranian heads of state to be cool and stop killing people. "We have seen the error of our ways and will be super nice from now on," said IRGC commander Amir Arzhang. "You can absolutely trust us with hundreds of billions...