Weird SBA Loans [semi-satire]

During its audit of the Small Business Administration (SBA) the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) discovered that during the 2020-2021 fiscal year the SBA made 5,593 loans totaling $312 million to business-owners who, according to their Social Security numbers, were recorded as 11 years old and younger. This amounted to an average loan per borrower of more than $55,000. The SBA also made 3,095 loans totaling $333 million to business-owners who, according to their Social Security numbers, were recorded as 115 years old and older. This amounted to an average loan per borrower of more than $107,000. If this money...