This is what Brits consider cheating — men and women have very different views

A new study has looked at what the British public believes counts as cheating (Picture: Getty Images)

Whether it’s a flirty text or a not-so-secret office crush, the definition of cheating is often contested.

For most couples, sleeping with someone who isn’t your partner (if you’re in a monogamous relationship, that is) is an absolute no, and the same goes for snogging someone else in the club.

But what about subscribing to an OnlyFans account, or fantasising about having sex with someone else?

That’s always been a slightly grey area — until now. YouGov has just released their Big Survey On Relationships which asked the British public what does and doesn’t constitute infidelity.

The study distinguishes between two types of cheating: physically cheating (as in, sleeping with someone who isn’t your partner) and emotionally cheating (forming a ‘deep emotional or romantic connection’).

And there’s quite a stark difference between what men and women believe counts…

How do men and women perceive cheating?

According to the YouGov research, men are more likely to be unhappy with a sex-led affair (46%), and are generally less bothered by emotional cheating (20%).

However, the figures for women are 35% and 29%, respectively.

Meanwhile, one in nine Brits (11%) believe there are actually circumstances where it’s socially acceptable to cheat on a partner, while an overwhelming number of people (76%) believe there’s absolutely no reason that would justify cheating on a partner, including waning sexual intimacy.

But what about the specific acts associated with cheating? The study asked participants about 12 different behaviours, and if it counts as cheating.

The study shows there are two types of cheating, including sexual (Picture: Getty Images)

There were six behaviours that the majority of people agreed were cheating:

Having sex with someone else (94%) Sending naked photos to someone else (82%) Using a dating app while in a relationship (80%) Kissing someone else (73%) Secretly messaging or meeting up with an ex-partner (69%) Forming a deep emotional attachment with someone else (52%)

In all of the above scenarios, the majority of Brits agreed that this was cheating. However, in all cases, slightly fewer men, than women, said it counts.

The biggest discrepancy between the genders was in regards to kissing someone else, where 80% of women believed this to be cheating, compared to just 65% of men, and forming a deep emotional attachment, where 60% of women said this was an act of infidelity, versus 43% of men.

The following six behaviours, more Brits said that it didn’t count as cheating, compared to those who did:

Directly engaging with sexual content creators, such as OnlyFans or similar sites (47%) Developing romantic feelings for someone else, even if nothing physical happens (40%) Using AI chatbots or virtual companions for romantic of sexual conversations (30%) Flirting with someone else (26%) Fantasising about sex or intimacy with someone else (16%) Having a crush on someone else (15%).

Again, in all cases, more women than men said that if you engaged in one of these behaviours, you were being unfaithful.

The biggest gap was related to OnlyFans, with 57% of women saying that engaging with a creator would be cheating, compared to just 37% of men.

Not everyone agreed a relationship with an AI chatbot counts (Picture: Getty Images)

How common is cheating?

The study found almost one quarter of Brits (23%) who have previously been in a relationship confessed to being unfaithful in the past — 17% have had a sexual relationship with someone else, compared to 18% who have been disloyal in an emotional capacity, while 12% admit to both layers of cheating.

However, not everyone shares the same views on sexual and emotional cheating, as four in ten (40%) would be more upset if their partner had a sexual affair without romantic feelings.

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