The Strategy of Clarity: How to Make Sure Your Habits Match Your Goals

Of all the strategies for habit formation I’ve explored, the Strategy of Clarity took me the longest to fully appreciate. It seems almost too simple. But once I understood how much work it was actually doing, I couldn’t stop seeing it everywhere.

Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. If we have habits that work for us, we’re much more likely to be happy, healthy, productive, and creative.

My book, Better Than Before (can’t resist adding, bestseller) describes the multiple strategies we can exploit to change our habits.

I spend a lot of time thinking about questions such as, “How do we change?” “Why is it so hard to make ourselves do things that we want to do?” ( for instance, why is it so hard to make myself go to bed?) and “How can we stick to our resolutions?“

I realize now that a big challenge is clarity. Often, if there’s something that I want to do, but somehow can’t get myself to do, it’s because I don’t have clarity. This lack of clarity often arises from a feeling of ambivalence–I want to do something, but I don’t want to do it; or I want one thing, but I also want something else that conflicts with it.

Lack of clarity, and the paralysis that ensues, seems to be common. Here’s a list of aims in conflict that I’ve heard. Do any ring a bell for you?

I want to give 110% to work. I want to give 110% to my family.I want to work on my novel. I want to exercise.I want to spend less time in the car. I want my children to participate in many after-school activities.Making money is not important. Making money is important.I want to be very accessible to other people. I want time alone to think and work.I want to be a polite guest. I want to avoid sugar.I want leisure time when I come home from work. I want to live in a house that’s clean and well-run.

Have you experienced this — a paralysis that comes from conflicting values?

Research bears this out: when we have conflicting goals, we don’t manage ourselves well. We become anxious or paralyzed, and we often end up doing nothing. This is where the Strategy of Clarity comes in.

What is the Strategy of Clarity?

The Strategy of Clarity means being crystal clear — with yourself and others — about what you’re trying to achieve and why. It eliminates the ambiguity that leads to stalling. When you can see the connection between a habit and the value it actually serves, following through becomes easier. The habit isn’t just a task on your list; it’s an expression of something is genuinely important to you.

How to use the Strategy of Clarity

The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself — not what other people value or expect from me — the more likely I am to stick to my habits. Here are my three best tips:

Define your goal specifically. Vague aims are easy to sidestep. “I want to exercise more” gives you no clear standard for success or failure. “I want to do 30 minutes of cardio three times a week” does. Identify specific, quantifiable actions that will lead you to your goal.

Spend more time with my kids → Read to the kids every eveningGive back to my community → Volunteer at the public library once a monthCut down on social media → Limit social media to 30 minutes per day

Identify your real “why.” Ask yourself why this habit matters to you — not why it should matter. Understanding the genuine motivation behind a habit is what gives it staying power.

One person in my Habits for Happiness course illustrated this well. She’d started with a “no added sugar” rule, then refined it to “no sugar unless pre-planned so you look back on it with pleasure.” But when she got very clear about her why — she wanted sugar to be a genuine social pleasure, not a coping mechanism for stress or boredom — she landed on her own rule: “Add sugar as you add people.” Dessert was fine as long as it was shared. No pre-planning required, but the habit was now anchored in something she actually valued.

Plan the details. Outline when, where, and how you’ll carry out the habit.

Review regularly. Our circumstances change, and our priorities can shift. Periodically asking yourself “Do I still care about this?” helps to make sure you’re working toward the right thing.

Especially important for Questioners. If you’re a Questioner (don’t know if you’re a Questioner? take my free, quick quiz here), the Strategy of Clarity is one of the most important strategies for you.