The Best

Days of Our Lives: John Dies; Bo Wakes Up

We were dreading one and hoping for the other, so it was bittersweet when the Brady family miracle was juxtaposed with John’s loved ones having to say goodbye on Days of Our Lives. Fittingly, the importance of these two legacy characters was illustrated by great performances and flashbacks.

John started slipping away after a week of poignant farewells. “We’ll always hold you in our hearts,” Marlena told him as she climbed into his hospital bed with him. “It’s okay if you rest now.” She flashed back to scenes of their life together as a voice-over of John at their wedding promised to grow old with Marlena and love her until he dies. When John got to “Until death parts us,” his heart monitor flatlined. Devastated, Marlena sobbed.

Just then, Bo had a dream that it was not his time to die and opened his eyes to a desperate Hope. “Fancy Face,” he whispered. As he gained strength, Bo asked Hope, Shawn and Ciara to tell him “all the news from Salem.” They filled him in on their lives and updated him on his grandchildren (including two new tots from Ciara and Ben). Joy filled the room until Bo asked what his rascally dad had been up to. Hope broke the news that both Victor and her father Doug had died while he was in a coma. Bo apologized for not being there for his family.

Back in Salem, the rest of Bo’s family was torn. “John sacrificed his life so Bo could live,” mourned Kayla. And life goes on…

General Hospital: Michael’s Trial Explodes

The custody battle for Michael and Willow’s kids on General Hospital was a rat-a-tat-tat of bombshells paced perfectly until the highly anticipated reveal that Michael fathered Sasha’s baby.

Diane kicked things off by asking Chase on the witness stand if Willow was faithful to him when they were married: no. Ric countered by asking Michael about being shot in the head and firebombed thanks to his violent father, not exactly a safe environment for children. Up came Diane to show photos of Drew doing belly shots off a hooker and directing the jury to watch the video of Drew having sex with Willow. “This is proof of Mrs. Corinthos’s adultery with her uncle-in-law in the children’s playroom. I rest my case.”

But Willow wasn’t the only adulterer in that marriage. Ric called Sasha to the stand and got her to admit she had sex with Michael last Fall and he fathered her baby. Sasha was busted, and so was her water. As the courtroom erupted, Sasha went into full labor in Michael’s arms. “Let me help,” offered Willow (of all people!). The nurse coached Sasha through it, and she gave birth to daughter Daisy on the courthouse floor.

They all convened later at G.H. where Michael had brought Wiley and Amelia to see Sasha and meet their new baby sister. “Join us,” he offered Willow — but the verdict still loomed.

Bold and Beautiful: Luna’s Lunacy Escalates

It made no sense that Luna was pardoned after killing two people and leaving Steffy for dead, or that she thought she’d be forgiven for her crimes on Bold and Beautiful. But when Luna made the rounds asking for another chance, it made total sense that she was rejected.

“It’s called consequences, Luna,” scolded Steffy when the girl showed up uninvited and asked to have a relationship with her bio dad Finn. Finn echoed his wife, telling Luna she will never have a place in their lives so get out. Luna’s grandmother Sheila suggested she leave town, eventually reaching out to Luna’s mother Poppy for help with the increasingly irrational girl. Next came Bill Spencer, who said he made a mistake getting her pardoned. “Go make a life for yourself, anywhere but here,” he spit.

The only person left was Sheila’s husband Deacon, whose friends were murdered by Luna at his restaurant. Luna begged him take a chance on her; he retorted he’d be dishonoring Tom and Hollis if he did that. “Nobody wants you, Luna,” snarked Deacon.

What’s a murderer to do? Get a gun and start target practice.

Beyond The Gates: Dani Calms Bill?!

Bill Hamilton ignored the numbness in his hand until his speech grew impaired and his daughter Naomi and his new wife Hayley forced him to go to the hospital on Beyond The Gates. He was diagnosed with a mini-stroke which he downplayed, saying it was nothing and he was going home. Enter Dani (tipped off by Naomi) to convince him otherwise.

“You are terrified of this place,” soothed Bill’s knowing ex-wife, putting her hand on his shoulder and listing the times during their marriage when his fear of hospitals overcame him. As macho as he is out in the world, she reminded him, he was just a man hooked up to machines now and he needed to obey the doctors. Drop the pride, she ordered, adding that she knows he can do it because she knows him. “Yes, you do,” replied Bill softly. It was one of those rare moments where we saw that these two adults really did have a life before their divorce — a life we know nothing about (yet).

Hayley later admitted to Bill she was “jelly” that she wasn’t the one who could comfort him when he was scared. Bill’s false bravado returned and he assured his pregnant wife his health was fine, but by the end of the week he was back in the hospital undergoing a stroke protocol.

Paging Nurse Dani?

The Worst

Young and Restless: The Endless Introduction Of Aristotle Dumas

Back in March on Young and Restless, we wrote that three months of talking about Aristotle Dumas without the newbie making an appearance was too long. Little did we know we’d be here in June with Genoa City blabbing about this stranger who we still haven’t met.

“What game is he playing?” asked Victor in March. More to the point, what game is Y&R playing? This is not soapy. There is no drama when Phyllis and Amanda meet up with various Newmans, Abbotts and Winters to speculate who Dumas is, what he wants, who he’s in cahoots with, etc. He sounded like such a vital new character in the beginning, but six months later he’s just an excuse for A-list characters to repeat the same conversations over and over.

“Dumas is no match for the Newmans,” bragged Nick to Nikki and Victoria in the same episode that Phyllis begged Amanda for an intro to Dumas and Billy discussed Dumas’s end game with Sally. Hopefully this guy’s end game proves worthy of all this build-up and his upcoming party in Nice is a scorcher, because treading water is not a story.

Dive in, already!

GH: Lucky’s Proposal Falls Flat

Speaking of end games, Lucky’s sweet proposal to Liz in the park on GH was exactly what L&L2 fans had been hoping for since his return to the show last August. The problem was that it came out of the blue with the two not having shared a single love scene this go-round.

“All I want is to spend the rest of my days with you, Aiden and your boys,” said Lucky unconvincingly since he spent hardly any days with Liz until she broke her leg. As for Aidan, Lucky’s son came out to him last October and they’ve had no conversations since. So that’s clearly not “all” Lucky wants to do, and Liz called him on it.

“I love you so much, but my answer is no,” she replied, saying Port Charles is too small for Lucky. He admitted he has wanderlust and invited Liz to travel the world with him. That was a no, too: Liz loves her life in PC.

There were so many missed opportunities with Lucky’s return. Why was he so distant, so uninvolved with his family, so slow to reconnect with Liz? Why was there not even the hint of a triangle between Liz, Lucky and Jason? Why was his last story with Kristina Corinthos instead of Liz, Laura, Lulu or Aiden? Post-proposal, Liz told Lucky she wouldn’t be who she today is if she hadn’t met him. It’s just that the people they grew into… “Not so much,” he said, finishing her sentence.

Exactly.