Teslas Updated With Self-Defense Mode Where They Transform Into Anthropomorphic Battle Robots

AUSTIN, TX — In response to increasing risks posed by violent protests and vandalism against vehicles and dealerships across the country, Tesla announced that all models would be updated with a "self-defense" mode where they transform into anthropomorphic battle robots. With activists and protesters staging coordinated attacks against his company, Tesla founder Elon Musk said the new update would serve as a strong deterrent by turning the electric vehicles into advanced mechanized fighters. "All Teslas will now be enabled to neutralize any threat," Musk said in a press conference announcing the update. "We've pushed a software update that effectively gives...