Stubborn Trump Refuses To Admit He's Dead

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a statement from the Oval Office, President Trump stubbornly refused to admit that he died this past weekend. Journalists pressed the President as to why he would not simply admit that he is dead, but to no avail. "You are obviously dead, Mr. President. Why will you not level with the American people?" asked Kaitlin Collins of CBS News. "Excuse me, but can a ghost shoot three under par on the back nine like I did on Saturday? No way, not any ghosts that I know," responded President Trump. "They can't even hold a club...