Speaking in Third Person: Psychologists Explain

Learn the psychological benefits of speaking in third person backed by science and practical ways to apply this technique in daily life.

Have you ever noticed how referring to yourself in third person can make you feel more in control? Whether it’s LeBron James talking about LeBron or you quietly telling yourself, “You’ve got this,” speaking in the third person has more benefits than you might think.

Although it may seem odd, psychologists believe that this practice—often referred to as illeism—has scientific support and can enhance self-confidence, decision-making, and emotional regulation.

Let’s dive into why speaking in third person has gained attention in psychological circles, how it works, and why it’s a simple yet powerful tool you can use in daily life.

What Is Speaking in Third Person (Illeism)?

Illeism is the act of referring to oneself in the third person, using your name or a pronoun like “he” or “she” rather than saying “I” or “me.” Celebrities, athletes, and politicians have famously used this habit.

Consider LeBron James saying, “LeBron wanted to do what was best for LeBron,” or even Donald Trump referring to himself as “Trump” in speeches and interviews. While these examples may give the impression of egotism, the truth is that speaking in third person isn’t always about showing off—it can also serve as an important psychological tool​.

The key idea behind third-person self-talk is psychological distancing. When you refer to yourself as an outsider, you automatically create a level of separation from your emotions and thoughts. This detachment can provide a new perspective, helping you process feelings more objectively and with greater clarity.

Psychologists have found that this small language shift can profoundly impact how we think, feel, and make decisions.

How Third-Person Self-Talk Helps Regulate Emotions

When life gets overwhelming, the ability to control your emotions is crucial. Third-person self-talk, or speaking in third person, is an effective strategy for emotional regulation. Research conducted by psychologists Jason Moser and Ethan Kross found that people who refer to themselves in the third person during stressful situations show reduced brain activity in areas associated with emotional distress.

Essentially, third-person self-talk allows you to step outside of your emotional state and view a problem as an outsider. Imagine you’re feeling angry after a disagreement with a friend. Saying, “John is angry, but John can work through this,” shifts your mindset. This simple language change encourages objectivity, helping you manage your anger rather than letting it control you.

Furthermore, this technique doesn’t require much cognitive effort. According to Kross’s research, speaking in the third person doesn’t tax the brain the way other emotional regulation strategies do. It’s a quick and easy way to regain control of your emotions when things get tough​.

Enhancing Decision-Making and Self-Control

The benefits of speaking in third person go beyond emotional regulation; it also enhances decision-making and self-control. When faced with a choice, speaking about yourself in the third person can help you weigh your options without allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment. This type of self-distancing allows you to look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective, which often leads to clearer, more rational decisions.

Consider a stressful situation like deciding whether to take a new job. Saying, “Sarah is considering this opportunity. Sarah will benefit from the change,” creates a bit of emotional distance, allowing you to think through the pros and cons without being swayed by anxiety or fear.

Studies have shown that people who engage in third-person self-talk are more likely to make decisions that align with their long-term goals rather than getting caught up in the emotional intensity of the moment​.

The Science Behind It: Why Does It Work?

The power of third-person self-talk lies in its ability to reduce emotional intensity without engaging the brain’s cognitive control centers. Neuroscientific research reveals that when people use third-person language, it activates areas of the brain responsible for self-distancing while minimizing activity in regions linked to negative self-referential processing​.

In simpler terms, speaking in the third person helps you step outside of your mind and think about your situation the way you would for a friend. This shift allows you to detach from overwhelming emotions like stress or anger and approach problems with more calm and clarity.

It’s a bit like taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture, which can be incredibly helpful in moments of heightened emotion.

Building Self-Confidence and Reducing Negative Self-Talk

One of the lesser-known benefits of speaking in third person is its ability to build self-confidence. Many of us struggle with negative self-talk, those inner criticisms that chip away at our confidence. Third-person self-talk can help silence that inner critic by making you feel more empowered and in control.

By referring to yourself by name, you distance yourself from those negative thoughts, making it easier to challenge and reframe them​.

For example, if you’re feeling nervous about an upcoming presentation, saying something like, “Emma is prepared, and Emma can do this,” shifts your focus from self-doubt to self-assurance. You begin to see yourself as capable, and over time, this practice can help boost your overall self-esteem.

When to Use Illeism: Practical Applications

While speaking in the third person can be highly beneficial, it’s not always appropriate. Using third-person language in everyday conversations might come across as odd or even off-putting, but it’s a fantastic tool for internal dialogue.

So, when should you use it? Here are a few scenarios where third-person self-talk can be particularly helpful:

During stress: When you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, speaking in the third person can help you manage your emotions and approach the situation with a clearer mind. When making important decisions: Using this technique can help you weigh options more objectively, free from the grip of immediate emotions. To boost self-confidence: Before a challenging task like a presentation or job interview, third-person self-talk can give you the mental boost you need to perform at your best.

Remember, the goal is to use this tool thoughtfully. While it may feel strange at first, practicing this technique during moments of stress or self-doubt can have profound long-term benefits.

Final Thoughts: A Simple Yet Powerful Psychological Tool

Speaking in third person may seem like a quirky habit at first, but it’s a powerful tool with a range of psychological benefits. From improving emotional regulation and decision-making to boosting self-confidence, this simple shift in language can have a significant impact on your mental well-being.

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or unsure about a decision, try referring to yourself by name. You might be surprised at how much easier it is to manage your emotions and think clearly when you take that small step back. For more insights on emotional health and self-improvement, visit Positive Kristen’s offerings and explore resources at Power of Positivity.

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