Schumer Begs for Bipartisanship [semi-satire]

Now that the Republicans have regained a majority in the US Senate, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) is urging them "to embrace bipartisanship. I realize this may be hard after we branded them as racists, misogynists, fascists and Nazis, but I want to remind them that this is what we say about Republicans in every election. It's just a political ploy that didn't work this time. It is not an accurate portrayal of our true feelings about our friends across the aisle." "Sure, there are some hard-core right-wing senators, but there are many more who helped us ensure that necessary...