Pork Products, Toilet Paper Mysteriously Untouched By Paris Rioters

The shelves are absolutely ransacked. Glass jars and other items have been ripped off all the shelves and smashed on the ground. Yet the looters didn't steal (or even touch!) the ham, bacon, or other delicious pork options in the refrigerators. The looters also avoided the toilet paper and tissues on the other side of the store. The truly eagle-eyed might have also noticed that a good portion of the wine was left on the shelves. The media tells me that these riots are being carried out by "French students" who want "better schools" and that the riots are "mostly...