Perrie Edwards: ‘I took my therapist to work every day to help manage my panic attacks’

Perrie Edwards is on a mission to help others suffering from anxiety feel less alone (Picture: Mike Marsland/WireImage)

Little Mix star Perrie Ewards has tried everything to help her debilitating panic attacks, which cause her limbs to become limp, vision to go, and gave her a fear of leaving home.

After first opening up about her anxiety in a candid 2019 social media post, Perrie has continued to share her experience in the hope of helping others feel less alone.

Now, Metro can exclusively reveal Perrie is the newest celebrity ambassador for Mind, the UK’s biggest mental health charity.

‘When people are going through their journeys, the best thing you can do is being open and honest about your experiences,’ she tells Metro of the partnership.

But while Perrie, 31, is open about her journey – she’s very much still in it.

‘I’m trying to be at peace with the anxiety and the physical symptoms,’ the Black Magic hitmaker says, explaining how she’s learning to accept panic attacks when they appear, rather than fearing them.

The Little Mix star says bringing her therapist to work was the best thing she’s ever done(Picture: Neil Mockford/GC Images) From the left, Jade Thirwall, Jesy Nelson, and Leigh-Anne Pinnock have been a huge support to Perrie over the years (Picture: Jo Hale/Redferns,)

‘I’ve tried all different kinds of therapy, therapists. I’ve tried everything,’ she says, explaining how many professionals have talked her through what to do when a panic attack strikes.

But in reality, this rarely translates in the moment.

‘When it then comes into play, everything goes out the window,’ she explains.

‘Last year, maybe in September, I started to take my therapist to work with me, which I know is a very privileged situation. I understand that not many people even have a therapist.

‘So I thought, I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to take her to work with me every day, and when I’m having the panic attack, she’s going to coach me through it there and then.

‘It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. And I wish I did it sooner, to be honest,’ she says.

Perrie’s key takeaway from this experience is that her panic attack isn’t going to kill her, and will not last for ‘hours and hours and hours’.

‘It’s taken me years to learn that my anxiety is not against me, it’s just trying to keep me safe,’ she says.

Perrie’s song Me, Myself & You is all about her anxiety (Picture: C Brandon/Redferns)

As Perrie suffers with agoraphobia – a fear of being in situations where escape is difficult – driving to London for work was a trigger.

‘When you suffer with agoraphobia, the fear is the further away from home you get, the worse it is, and the worse you feel, because you have no escape, then you feel a bit more trapped, like you can’t get back to your safe space quick enough,’ she says.

‘I think that’s taken me a long time to get to where I am. And I’m not perfect. I suffer and I struggle, and it’s a lot, but at the same time I’m proud of where I am now to where I was even last year,’ she reflects.

When Perrie’s panic attacks began, she internalised it.

‘I felt like I was going insane, if I’m totally honest,’ she says.

The first time, Perrie thought she was dying and rang a doctor to tell them she was having a heart attack.

The star is Mind’s newest celebrity ambassador (Picture: Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images)

‘It then developed into fear, then I got a phobia of panic attacks, then it became a disorder,’ she explains.

‘I wasn’t vocal about it publicly, because I thought I’d be judged. I thought people would think I was crazy. It’s heartbreaking. So many people go through it alone.’

Twice now Perrie has been housebound because of her agoraphobia. The first time she was touring with Little Mix, and she’s experienced it again recently.

‘My anxiety at the time started from not wanting to be on my own, and the fear of having a panic attack on my own, so being on tour helped massively,’ she recalls. ‘My comfort was being around the girls.’

While her Little Mix bandmates – Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson and Leigh-Anne Pinnock- helped support Perrie, the industry itself was less forgiving. (Especially when you are launched into the spotlight on a show like The X Factor at 100mph.)

Perrie only got through those early years of fame because of her Little Mix bandmates (Picture: FilmMagic) Perrie almost dropped out of The X Factor before she was put in the group (Picture: Mike Marsland/WireImage)

‘As much as we had each other, and we kind of battled through all the trolls, there is only so much a human can take on the chin and think, “That doesn’t affect me.” Because it does,’ she says.

‘I think it definitely had a part to play in my anxiety and for why I feel like I’m kind of going on this journey with it now, but at the same time, I loved everything I did, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

‘So it had a pros, and it had its cons, for sure, but I don’t blame [my anxiety] on the industry, because I think I was born with this.’

As a young girl, Perrie remembers worrying an abnormal amount.

‘It would consume me. I can’t explain it, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. I wouldn’t be able to eat. I’d be really, really worried and really overthinking everything from a very young age,’ she remembers.

The thought of asking for ketchup in a restaurant made Perrie feel ‘physically sick’ and in her first job at a hairdresser she felt paralysed with fear over phone calls.

It begs the question: how did Perrie go from this to performing on stage in front of thousands – and on TV for millions – in one of the biggest UK girlbands of the 21st century?

The above Behind the Song YouTube conversation with Frankie Bridge was made possible thanks to the players of People’s Postcode Lottery.

‘I think just having the support of the other girls, because then it didn’t feel like I was solely on my own. It was like a team,’ she says.

Perrie was close to dropping out of The X Factor in 2011 before she was grouped up with the other girls.

‘I remember going to boot camp on X Factor, and I rang my mom on the bus, and I was crying my eyes out, sobbing. I was like, “Please pick me up. I don’t want to be here. Everyone’s singing everywhere, everyone’s confident, and I’m embarrassed. I was horrified,”‘ she says.

‘My mom was like, “If you’re being serious, I will drive there and I will pick you up. But if not just try and make friends, try to speak with people.”

‘Then my mum actually said to me on the phone, “You know what, darling, if you’re lucky, they’ll put you in a group.”‘

While Perrie ‘did’ feel supported by The X Factor, she felt ‘more supported’ by the girls and her family.

‘I think that was all I needed at the time. I was so young, I was a baby. I was only 17 or 18 when we won,’ she says.

What would be the one bit of advice Perrie would give that 17-year-old girl, embarking on the biggest adventure of her life?

‘Have therapy sooner,’ she says.

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