Nigerian President Promises To End Genocide If Trump Sends Upfront Fee Of $5,000 In Amazon Gift Cards

WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump received an email from the President of Nigeria with a commitment to end the genocide against Christians if Trump agrees to send him $5,000 in Amazon gift cards. "I hope this email finds you well, Mr. Donald," the email stated. "I am the President of Nigeria and will most gladly endeavor to end this genocide in my country if you can be pleased to send me $5,000 in Amazon gift cards. Thank you very much. You are dearest." Trump expressed surprise at the email and worried it might not be legitimate. "I've seen these things...