Merchant 64 Is a Bright, Colorful, and Sometimes Brutal Game

Being a merchant is a brutal life. Even if you’re a cute lil’ character in the N64 style Merchant 64. The short game is cute enough and an interesting diversion that leans hard into the aesthetic. However, it’s also a stark reminder that you can trust no one.

The story behind Merchant 64 is pretty simple, as it is a game involving a small child trying to be a success. You find or buy items, then go to places to sell them when they are in demand. Ideally, you’ll make money. So much so, you can get upgrades for equipment, offer better goods, and actually visit new places. Because being able to visit multiple towns and take advantage of different buying and selling prices there is the way to succeed.

While this isn’t a difficult game, it is still a bit of a gut punch when you get started. You only have just about 20 coins. Junk in the initial town of Acornville tends to be sold for $1 each and sell for, at most, $2 if you’re lucky. The shop UI isn’t great and takes some adjusting to. You talk to NPCs at your own peril, as you might be forced into buying or selling items at not-great prices since there won’t be an option to say yes or no to them. Getting the first $100 to unlock Beechtown isn’t the worst, and getting to the $600 Cashewberg also isn’t that bad. But it can get especially tedious earning the $6,000 for access to Merchantland. 

But like, we know capitalism sucks, and this sort of emphasizes that every time you happen to talk to someone accidentally and they make you buy five pieces of junk for $2 each when you were $6 away from getting to Beechtown.

However, the thing that surprised me the most about Merchant 64 is how brutal it can be? At least, that’s the case early on. You start with so very little money, and really only the ability to go between a wooded area and a small town. Sleep indoors? In a bed? With safety and security? Of course not! You’re gathering junk and sleeping on a blanket in the street. People stole from me every time I did that. 

There are like nine people in this initial town. I know your faces! I know who you are! You did this to me, when I was too exhausted to go to the woods to sleep in a tent. Because at least nobody seemed to mug me there. 

Oh, not to mention that people are just animals, because what they do seem to do in the woods is toss their junk. These (virtual) people are the reasons why so many innocent animals are ingesting plastic. There ought to be a law. But then, they’re stealing from a small child too, so of course they wouldn’t respect it.

Merchant 64 is genuinely a cute little game that will last you a few hours. Will it drag on a bit? Sure. Will it ruin your trust in humanity? Only until you’re comfortable enough to afford an inn every night. 

Merchant 64 is available for PCs.

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