L.A. Rioter Sad As He Can't Find Any Houses To Burn Down Since They All Burned Down In The Wildfires

LOS ANGELES — As immigration riots spread across the city, local rioter and ruffian Eduardo Perez expressed regret that he could not find any houses to burn down since they all burned down in the wildfires back in January. "What are we even fighting for if there aren't any more houses to burn down?" Perez reportedly said, forlorn. "This is all because of Governor Newsom's terrible forest management!" Perez isn't alone. Social workers are reportedly stretched thin, overwhelmed by a caseload comprised almost entirely of communist arsonists without homes to arson. "I wanted to watch the city burn," lamented arsonist...