It’s unforgiveable to serve this ‘offensive’ drink to guests at your wedding

Don’t serve these three drinks at your wedding (Picture: istockphoto/Metro.co.uk)

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There are a few things you can be certain of at a wedding.

Someone will break down spectacularly during the speeches, the best man will overshare and make things awkward, and possibly the same person who lost the plot during the speeches will get hammered and start an argument.

Terrifyingly, if you’re planning your wedding, those aren’t the factors that will cause you the most anxiety. Nope, they’re a cinch compared to choosing the drinks to serve on the day.

A 2023 YouGov survey revealed that 42% of engaged couples felt ‘uncertain or anxious’ about choosing the right wine at their wedding. Many of those cited a lack of wine knowledge or the prospect of ‘getting it wrong’ as the main fear factors.

When you consider, the average wedding now costs £23,250, with catering and drinks typically accounting for at least 25 to 30% of that, the wine choice is central to the day. No pressure intended.

To help make this decision a little easier for you, here are three drinks I think it would be an unforgivable offence to serve at a wedding, so given you’re not (consciously) planning to make this wedding the dry run for your next one, it will pay to avoid falling into these pitfalls…

Avoid really cheap prosseco

It’s a lazy and uninspring option (Picture: Getty Images)

How many times have you been gasping for a sharpener after a wedding ceremony only to be presented with lukewarm, off-dry bubbles?

That’s because it’s cheap Prosecco, the lazy and uninspiring option.

Look, I’m all for saving money, but the fact is there’s plenty of other bubbly options that won’t leave you feeling like you’re wearing a layer of sugary, boozy lip-gloss after the first glass.

Ditch oaky Chardonnay

Avoid oaky chardonnay (Picture: Getty Images)

Don’t get me started on oaky Chardonnay as your white option, there’s a reason people ditched it back in the early noughties like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

No one wants to be sipping (chewing) a glass of something that could have been made by a carpenter instead of a winemaker.

Pinot Grigio is a yawn-fest

Pinot Grigio sucks (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

At the other end of the spectrum, Pinot Grigio sucks at a wedding.

At the lower end (which is where most of us would look, let’s be honest) it’s a neutral-tasting, yawn-fest. It’s the only ‘inoffensive’ style of wine that’s actually offensive.

You’re basically telling people you’ve done you’re own version of a Calais booze cruise to Tesco to get hold of it on 3-for-2 deal. Nothing wrong with a deal in my book, but at least go for something that isn’t the drinks equivalent of off-white wall paint.

The good news? There’s a way to nail the wine choices without the need for a château budget or sommelier approval. It’s all about the wines feeling like they’ve been ‘considered’, that, along with a generous returns policy.

And when it comes to other drinks, my tips would include not handing out Sambuca shots before your dad grabs the mike, or letting your cousin create a ‘signature’ cocktail because he once bartended in Ibiza. But, you already knew that.

Here are my top recommendations for wedding wines to avoid Lambrini being your toasting tipple…

Welcome Fizz

I’d be happier with this than Prosecco at a wedding (Picture: Sainsbury’s)

Taste the Difference Pignoletto DOC Spumante Brut, £8, Sainsbury’s

Let’s face it, Pignoletto isn’t a million miles from Prosecco, style-wise. Known as it’s ‘Italian cousin’, though it’s from the Emilia-Romagna region between Modena and Bologna. You get similar frothy apple and pear flavours, but this one is zestier, dryer and full of yellow plum flavours. Prosecco, be gone, I’d be far happier to be greeted by a glass of Pignoletto at a wedding.

Toasting Fizz

Don’t judge a wine by its label (Picture: Majestic Wines)

Toast & Honey Brut, South Africa, £13, Majestic

Full disclosure, I was anticipating disliking this bottle. Why? The name, mainly. Goes to show, don’t judge a wine by its label. It’s produced by fourth generation winemakers based at Tulbagh Winery, one of South Africa’s oldest and most respected estates. It’s rich, dry, toasty, lightly honeyed with a lively streak of zestiness running through it.

Red

This is the kind of wine that should cost a decent amount of money (Picture: Asda)

Exceptional by Asda Margaret River Cabernet Sauvignon, Australia, £6.98, Asda

The Margaret River is a source of premium wines in Australia, the kind you’d pay a decent amount of money for. Now, I can’t quite get my head around the barely-there price for this silky red that tastes of blackberries, damsons and cherries, but I’m not asking questions in case the Asda team realise there’s been a typo…

White

A dry and creamy wine with delicious tropical fruit flavours (Picture: Majestic Wines)

The Long Coast Chardonnay, Chile, £7, Majestic

At a recent Majestic wine tasting, this was the star of the show for me. Bang for buck-wise, I was shook. The fruit is sourced from vineyards that benefit from the cooling influence of the ocean, along Chile’s Pacific coastline. That means the grapes have a longer ‘hang-time’ on the vine, ripening slowly for mad flavour intensity. This is dry, creamy and stuffed with the most delicious tropical fruit flavours.

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