It’s Only My Opinion For The Soap Week Ending May 15

CBS; ABC; CBS(2)

Karma Chameleons: (from l.) Y&R’s Victor (Eric Braeden), GH’s Sonny (Maurice Benard), B&B’s Luna (Lisa Yamada) and BTG’s Eve (Ambyr Michelle)

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction (shout-out to Isaac Newton!), but the karmic pushback has been especially dramatic lately.

B&B’s Luna seems to honestly think she can worm her way into new bio-dad Finn’s life, despite having tried to kill his wife. Her M.O. is to show up at his house when Steffy’s car is gone and start whining about her rough childhood, not having a father, blah blah. Finn just gives her his trademark concerned stare.

Luna: “Finding you changed me.”   

Finn: “I do feel some responsibility for not being there for you.” 

Luna: “Tell me there’s a place for me in your life. Don’t let Steffy keep us apart.” 

Yes, how dare Steffy keep Luna away from her family when all Luna did was drug her and kidnap her and try to kill her? How selfish! 

Back here on planet earth, Steffy returned home and threw Luna out, so the lunatic went to Sheila. Pairing Luna with her equally psychotic grandmother — who also tried to murder Steffy and is also banished from Finn and Steffy’s home — is not a recipe for increased rooting value or, frankly, logic. 

Luna: “That little bitch manipulates him.”

I’m sorry, what? The way Luna speaks about Steffy indicates she 1) has learned nothing and 2) is not sorry. So good for Finn for not succumbing to her vapid “Boo-hoo, I want to know my daddy” complaints. Cause and effect, baby!

BTG’s Leslie/Dana is getting a taste of that, thanks to the bomb she exploded at the anniversary party that Ted had cheated on Nicole with her, and, oh, by the way, meet your daughter. Ted accepting Eva and offering to help her seemed to come as a surprise to Leslie, though.  

Leslie: “Everyone I’ve ever loved has turned their backs on me.” 

Gee, I wonder why. Ted told her to stop stalking the Duprees and Leslie gushed that she’s still in love with him. 

Ted: “Someone as twisted as you is not capable of loving anyone.”

Based on how Leslie is treating Eva, that’s spot-on. Her two best friends peaced out, too, with Mona offering the best exit line.

Mona: “Hell was made for people like you. Enjoy the burn.”

There’s no other endgame than Leslie being shunned, and it’s been pretty entertaining. She’s been called Ted’s sidepiece, a bargain bin homewrecker, a basic bitch, a mercenary mama, and been thrown out by both Anita and Nicole Dupree. 

Nicole: “Leave me and my family alone.” 

Leslie: “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a lovely lady.”

Nicole: “It’s worth nothing.” 

Eva’s not getting away with anything, either. Anita and Dani dissed her for being part of Leslie’s plot, as did Mona, who had recommended Eva for the job in Nicole’s office that wound up ruining her marriage. 

Eva: “I feel like I lost everything.” 

Mona: “Good.” 

And is karma coming for Bill Hamilton? He drinks and seems to know things. He’s got dirt on Martin, knew all about Ted’s affair with Leslie, and defends his involvement with his ex-wife to his new wife like it’s just the cost of doing business in Fairmont Crest. 

Bill: “What am I supposed to do when the Duprees and their plus-ones come knocking on my door? Those Duprees know how to hold a grudge.”

So do those DiMeras on DAYS. The least surprising thing about nutbag Kristen is that she’s raising a daughter who is just as psycho as she is (our first clue was when Rachel helped her nutty grandmother kidnap Ava). So, when her birthday rolled around, none of the little urchin’s classmates wanted to come.

Belle: “Why are no other kids coming to Rachel’s party?”

Brady: “She’s not the most popular girl in class.”

EJ (sarcastic): “Shocker, with that winning personality of hers.” 

Like mother, like daughter. 

EJ’s one to talk, but Belle believes her paramour has become a better man since he got shot.

Belle: “He just wants to do something good with his life. Why else would he put his net worth on the line to save a hospital out of bankruptcy?”

Kayla: “So Versivex is a happy coincidence?” 

Belle: “What is that?” 

Kayla: “EJ and Xander are trying to get the patent to a new drug that saves lives — and it will also line their pockets.”

There it is. The fact that EJ still hasn’t learned that his lies always come back on him may be good for storytelling, but it’s bad for character development. His last pushback was a gunshot wound. Wake up, dude! 

Y&R’s Victor gets away with a lot, but he’s pissed off so many people lately I think the baddie is losing it. “I am in control,” he insisted to Phyllis. Is he? He’s alienated his lawyer, most of his family, and now his new granddaughter Claire by “forbidding” her to date Kyle. 

Nikki: “They’re in love.”

Victor: “It will pass.”    

An all-out war with Jack, Kyle, and Billy Abbott seems like a bad idea. When Victor told Billy that family means everything to him, his former son-in-law called BS. 

Billy: “My kids are your grandkids and you’re constantly picking a fight with me.”

Preach! Billy’s still standing after all Victor’s cheap shots, and he seems to have a direct line to the much-discussed Aristotle Dumas — which Victor doesn’t have. It’s hard to believe any of these new “communication companies” in Genoa City are going to succeed when all they do is threaten each other in bars as opposed to, you know, finding office space. If Y&R ever does introduce this Dumas character, he’s got a clear field at whatever a PR/marketing firm would do in Small Town Wisconsin. 

In Rocco’s case on GH, his action sparked a wild overreaction. The teen got drunk at a college party, which set off a blistering cascade of blame. Dante blamed Gio for not recognizing the symptoms of alcohol poisoning, Danny for not keeping an eye on Rocco, Jason for not raising Danny more responsibly, and Lois for not letting him berate poor Gio (her secret grandson). Danny, who did not get drunk, still got a lesson in Quartermaine alcoholism.  

Jason: “My brother, your uncle, wasn’t much older than you when he started drinking heavily and it cost him, it cost me, it cost this family so much. I don’t want that for you. Learn from this and don’t do it again.” 

Danny’s grandmother Alexis is also an alcoholic, so I smell another speech in his future… 

Meanwhile, Jason has other ish to fry. Danny’s walk on the wild side inspired him to be a more present father, which dovetails nicely with Sonny’s health problems and resulting desire to get out of the mob. Enter Port Charles’ newest criminal. 

Sonny: “Sidwell is the only chance we have to walk away from the business.”

Jason doesn’t like the idea of Sonny selling the piers, and Laura hates it — even though her friendship with Sonny is hurting her upcoming mayoral campaign. He told her the move would solve both of their problems. 

Sonny (to Laura): “Sometimes you’ve got to make a deal with the devil.”  

Laura came around, but Tracy’s scorched-earth campaign to get rid of Sonny will introduce a different kind of devil into the conversation: the devil you know. PC has it good with Sonny vs. the violence we know Sidwell is capable of, so the pushback on ousting Sonny would be epic. 

Much like whatever is coming for Drew, who screwed Willow over by letting her fly all the way to Germany to see Michael and then paid off the hospital to keep her from doing it. And do you really think Curtis will let Drew get away with blackmailing his wife?

Drew (to Brad): “There’s going to be plenty of destruction to go around, but it’s going to be on my timetable.”

Don’t bet on it. Karma’s a bitch, Congressman!

Hey. It’s only my opinion.