Iran and Chuck Schumer Are About to Be Destroyed

The two most famous swords in world history have the same thing in common: They probably weren’t real. Excalibur, the legendary blade of King Arthur, was purportedly stuck in a stone. Beneath it was the inscription: “Whoso pulleth out this stone and anvil, is rightwise king born of all England.” So one day, a precocious kid named Arthur yanked it out — instantly becoming the new king. Which meant, of course, that there was now a big stone with a sword-sized hole on the top. It probably became a tourist attraction: The locals could've jammed a cheap, plastic sword into...