In Blow To Democrats, SCOTUS Rules They Have To Stop Being Racist

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a devastating setback to the Democratic Party, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that they have to stop being racist. In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled today that discriminating based on a person's skin color is, in fact, illegal. The verdict comes as a heavy blow to the Democratic Party, which has vowed to keep fighting for the right to be openly racist. The majority opinion, authored in unusually plain English, opens with the line, "Seriously, you guys can't keep doing that," before citing centuries of legal precedent and basic moral reasoning. "This...