I’m at odds with my partner because our kids can’t get along

Young couple arguing during lunch time with their children in dining room. Focus is on woman.

DEAR DEIDRE: MY kids are struggling to form a connection with their new step siblings and it’s causing me and my partner to argue.

I’ve been divorced for five years and I have an eight and a 10-year-old from my first marriage. It’s been amicable with my ex and I have the kids to stay over every other weekend.

My partner’s children are 12 and 14 and they are both boys.

My eldest is a boy and my youngest a girl. They find their new ‘brothers’ intimidating.

They started arguing when we all went away camping in the summer and now it feels as if they are never going to get along.

They bicker and the older two say things like, “You can’t choose what you want to watch on TV.

You don’t live here,” or “Why are we eating spaghetti? Only ‘they’ like spaghetti’. My partner tends to give in to her two.

Now my kids don’t want to come and see me. It’s affecting them and affecting me. My partner is 38 and I’m 40.

Should I be considering getting family therapy?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, some family therapy is a great idea.  The chances are, if they were blood siblings they would still bicker and fall out.  Most children do.

Talk to your partner about how best you tackle this situation putting on a united front when it comes to settling squabbles.

The children have all had to adjust to their parents not being together so they all need time separately with their parent.

Go to their sports events at school or take them to the park so you can talk and you’ll get an idea about what the real issues are.

You can find support through National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, Tel: 0300 4000 636), where you can talk in a safe environment together.

My support packs called Blended Families and How To Look After Your Relationship have additional sources of help.