I had to wait 7 years for a vagina – now I feel complete

As a child, much to my mum’s annoyance, I would constantly try on my sister’s clothes (Picture: George Archer)

‘Picture a magician pulling a string of scarves out of a hat.’

That’s what one of the nurses said to try and calm my nerves about having my vaginal pack – a two meter long ribbon of gauze to absorb blood from my newly designed genitalia – removed.

It was July 2025, I was five days post lower gender-reassignment surgery, and I was feeling a mixture of elated, exhausted, and nervous. But her words helped calm me.

I’ve always felt female.

It’s why, as a child, I would constantly try on my sister’s clothes, from the age of three. Mum caught me wearing them once and humiliated me for it, telling me it was ‘naughty’ and ‘wrong’.

Following that incident, I continued to wear my sister’s clothes, but it had to be in secret. It was the seventies and homophobia and transphobia were everywhere.

That shame, guilt, and self-loathing stuck with me for much of my life, and as a result, I tried hard to suppress my femininity.

I made a coming out video, which I put on my social media accounts (Picture: Josh Cadogan Photography)

As a teen and young adult, I continued to cross-dress in private because it just felt right. But I knew it would not be socially accepted in public, so I kept it to myself.

Even throughout my two marriages, I still did it because it gave me a feeling of gender euphoria. In fact, I sometimes braved going out in public.

But in April 2018, I couldn’t suppress it any longer so I took the plunge to reveal Katie to the world.

I made a coming out video, which I put on my social media accounts. In it, I explained that I had accepted myself to be transgender and that my transition would be unapologetically bold and very public.

I knew that, from the moment I posted it, my life would never be the same again. But I took a deep breath and did it.

I started hormone replacement therapy in 2018 (Picture: George Archer)

Within a few hours, I received hundreds of messages of support from colleagues, friends, and other trans people that I had come to know over the years, each of them saying how happy they were for me.

My daughter was absolutely amazing and had no trouble accepting me.

I started hormone replacement therapy in 2018, which involves taking oestrogen to reduce the testosterone in my body. I also started taking hair loss medication to reverse male patterned baldness.

Within a few months, my facial features and skin softened. Looking in the mirror at that stage became less difficult.

Although fantastic, the breast tissue didn’t grow as much as I wanted it to. So in 2013, I had surgery to make my boobs look in proportion to my torso, which really boosted my self-esteem.

On top of that, I legally changed my name and updated all of my identity documents to mark my gender as female.

Two years ago, I met my partner Jasmin on the lesbian dating app, Her. I just thought she was a lovely, warm, and genuine person.

Even though I was pre-op at the time, she accepted me totally as the woman I am. We now live together and I love our life.

I had to go through psychological assessments and scrutiny from GPs (Picture: Katie Neeves)

Everything finally felt like it was slotting into place, but the one thing I kept thinking about was getting lower surgery as the final part of my transition.

And I was anxious about it, to say the least. I had seen a 2018 documentary called Transformation Street, in which a trans woman screamed post-surgery due to the pain, so I had that in the back of my mind.

But I knew that I needed surgery to make my body fully match my internal female self.

Unfortunately, the process to secure it was a nightmare. I had to go through psychological assessments and scrutiny from GPs, which was very stressful and distressing.

The whole process from GP referral to lower surgery took over seven years, but others have had to wait similar amounts of time just for their first appointment at an NHS gender clinic.

Throughout my recovery, the staff were all excellent at making me feel completely at ease (Picture: Katie Neeves)

On the big day of lower surgery in July, my nerves were still there. But I also had an overwhelming feeling of euphoria as I nervously walked down to the operating theatre, clutching my pillow.

When I came to, I felt confused and floaty. Not in pain, but definitely not fully aware of what was happening around me. When the surgeon came to tell me it was all done, I cried with joy.

Throughout my recovery, the staff were all excellent at making me feel completely at ease, treating me with so much kindness and respect.

But it was one of the lovely nurses at the hospital, who put the biggest smile on my face when she reassured me that my vaginal pack would be teased out at a pace that I would be comfortable with – just like magic.

While it was still a bit uncomfortable at times, I never felt the need to scream in pain. And thankfully, no rabbit or flowers came out either!

I feel complete, like I finally have a total harmony of body and mind (Picture: Katie Neeves)

I vlogged my hospital stay in a series of five videos that I posted across social media, as well as on my trans advocacy page, Cool2BTrans.

I was discharged a week after surgery, but am still in recovery – I can only go on small walks around the neighbourhood, as I get exhausted quickly. At first, I was not in much pain but that didn’t last long.

I popped some stitches within the first week and developed a wound dehiscence, which is a separation of the edges of a surgical incision.

Ever since, it has been very painful, especially when sitting.

I have to dilate three times a day, which involves inserting a medical device into the vagina. Each dilation takes around two hours from start to finish. It is very sore.

As I recover, I will be able to dilate less – after a year, it goes down to just one dilation a week.

I’ll then have a regular vagina. I feel overwhelmed with joy about that prospect. I’ll feel complete, like I’ll finally have a total harmony of body and mind.

I can’t quite believe I’ve reached the end of my transition journey. It felt like the longest time coming, but it’s been so worth it.

As told to Sophie Molly.

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