I complained about romance on the radio and bagged myself a date

Dating in your 40s is a very different ball game (Picture: Estelle Keeber)

Hearing the radio presenter read out a text from a listener, I got a warm little glow in my tummy. 

The text in question described me as an amazing person – or words to that effect – and I must admit it was a real confidence boost. 

Earlier in the programme, when the presenter suggested, on air, that this was a great opportunity to find me a man, I’d wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I was so embarrassed. 

But, as my fellow guest that day was romance expert Sukh Kaur, I thought, what the hell. We spent the next 20 minutes talking about my chequered dating life and then that text arrived. 

I hadn’t gone on air that day looking for a date, but when you’re 42 and a single mum of two kids, you need to be open for love to find you – even if it is in unconventional ways. 

For the most part, I’m pretty happy on my own. Being single gives me lots of freedom to enjoy the things I love like solo spa days or going hiking.  

When you’re 42 and a single mum of two kids, you need to be open for love to find you (Picture: Digital Mechanic. Rob Gurney)

But having someone to share experiences and special moments with – a real partner – does appeal a bit. 

I’ve been in relationships before, of course. My last serious one ended about two years ago, after it had run its course, and before that I was engaged to be married. 

Recently, I’ve found myself back at square one and let me tell you, dating in your 40s is a very different ball game from dating in your 20s. 

For a start, it used to be a longer process. You’d have to meet in the first place, then arrange a date and put some time and effort into it.  

Today, you can get a date at the touch of a button, or decide after two weeks of chatting online that he’s not the one for you and block and delete before you’ve even met him. 

I was happy to have the chance to talk quite openly about how I felt about dating (Picture: Estelle Keeber)

But perhaps one of the best things about dating now though is that I’ve got enough life experience by this point to understand what’s truly important. 

There’s less time for messing around, and I’m less tolerant of nonsense. I’ve got very strong boundaries and I’m much more secure in knowing what I want, and what I can bring to a relationship. 

So, when I was invited to BBC Radio Leicester for my regular guest slot in November last year, and talk quickly turned from all the crazy things going on in my world as a PR and social media expert, to romance, I was happy to have the chance to talk quite openly about how I felt about dating. 

I was very open minded as to what might come from it, but I didn’t have any huge expectations (Picture: Estelle Keeber)

I told how I’d been messaging a particular guy at the time, but didn’t go into any huge detail about him. 

We’d connected on the apps a couple of weeks earlier. The conversation flowed and we got on well. I was very open minded as to what might come from it, but I didn’t have any huge expectations. 

What I didn’t realise, however, was that this guy I’d been chatting to on the apps listened to the show – and within half an hour he’d sent that flattering message in.

While I didn’t know for sure it was him at the time, I had my suspicions as they read out his first name. After the show, when we were messaging again, I got the confirmation I needed.

Next thing I knew the team asked me if I’d come back on for a date with him live on air. Admittedly, I was very nervous – I felt vulnerable about sharing such a personal experience so publicly – but ultimately I decided to go for it. 

His answers really made me smile (Picture: Estelle Keeber)

A week or so later we both appeared on the programme again – me in the studio and him on the phone – in a sort of Blind Date set up. 

We asked each other three questions, most of which are a blur to me now as I was so nervous, but I do remember asking him what he wanted to be when he grew up when he was a child. 

I think he said something about wanting to be a pilot but said he was too short, which made me giggle because I’m quite short myself. I also asked about his favourite song or movie, and his answer involved Dirty Dancing, which was a huge tick for me because it’s one of my favourite films. 

His answers really made me smile, so it was all very positive – which is lucky really as, what the team didn’t know until the morning of our ‘on-air date’, was that the guy and I had arranged to meet up straight after the show. 

It was great to find our conversation flowed just as well when we were together (Picture: Estelle Keeber)

We met at a bar nearby for some drinks and it was really nice to meet him in person. It was great to find our conversation flowed just as well when we were together.  

We got on well, which resulted in a really nice first date and continued to talk for a while afterwards, but we never got to a second one. I think we both felt we didn’t have enough time to invest in dating at that point.    

They invited me on the show near Valentine’s Day to provide an update – but sadly I wasn’t available to let listeners know what happened. I’m sure they’re eagerly awaiting news! 

It may not have led to anything serious, but there were no hard feelings and it was a really fun experience to have. 

I’ve had a couple of dates since then, all through the apps, but there’s been no more crazy radio antics to speak of and I’m still happily single. 

But I’d definitely recommend putting yourself out there in more unusual ways when it comes to dating. The dating world is not an easy one to navigate nowadays as it is, but you can have a laugh along the way if you let yourself. 

If nothing else, think of the fantastic stories and memories you’ll make. 

As told to Claire O’Boyle

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