Excuses Liars Give: 7 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

You asked for the truth—but instead, you got a story.

It didn’t add up. Something felt… off.

Liars rarely admit the truth outright. Instead, they reach for one of their favorite tools: excuses. Smooth, rehearsed, and often sprinkled with just enough guilt to make you question reality.

But here’s the truth: you’re not imagining it. And you’re not overreacting.

Excuses liars give aren’t random; they’re patterns. And once you spot the pattern, you reclaim your power.

In this guide, we’re breaking down the most common excuses liars give so you can see them coming, trust your instincts, and protect your peace.

The Psychology Behind Lying

Lying isn’t always rooted in malice. Sometimes, it’s fear. Other times, it’s self-preservation. However, comprehending the reasons behind people’s lies can enhance your ability to discern their justifications and react confidently.

Research shows that deception is often a tool people use to avoid discomfort, protect relationships, or shape how they’re perceived.

While everyone lies occasionally, chronic or manipulative lying follows certain psychological patterns.

When you recognize these motivations, you stop personalizing the betrayal and start protecting your peace.

Avoiding consequences
People lie when they fear the fallout of telling the truth. It’s a defense mechanism that helps them escape blame, judgment, or confrontation. Protecting their self-image
Some lies are designed to make the liar feel better about who they are. It helps them preserve their ego when the truth threatens their identity. Managing power imbalances
Studies show that people are more likely to lie to someone they perceive as having more power, like a boss or partner. It’s often used to regain control. Preserving relationships
Not all lies are selfish. Some are told to spare feelings or prevent conflict, especially in close relationships. But even these can damage trust over time. Seeking personal gain
Whether it’s to get ahead, make money, or win approval, these lies are intentional and often manipulative. The goal is personal benefit, regardless of the cost.

Common Excuses Liars Give (And What They Really Mean)

When someone lies, the truth rarely comes with a warning. Instead, it’s often wrapped in an excuse, something that sounds harmless but feels… off. Although you might not notice it immediately, patterns often carry more weight than assurances.

Liars often use these excuses to evade accountability, mitigate the impact, or transfer the blame.

Let’s take a closer look, because once you see them, you can stop second-guessing yourself and start trusting your intuition again.

1. “There Wasn’t Enough Time”

Ah yes, the classic time excuse.

One of the most common excuses liars give, and one of the easiest to miss.

It sounds innocent enough. After all, who isn’t busy these days? In reality, when someone expresses a lack of time, it often implies that they didn’t prioritize you.

Ouch, right?

That doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. It means their energy was spent elsewhere, often on things they didn’t want to admit.

Liars use time as a shield. It’s vague, it’s safe, and it’s hard to argue with. However, patterns reveal the true nature of situations. If someone always runs out of time when it matters most to you? That’s not a scheduling issue; it’s a red flag.

You deserve more than excuses. You deserve honesty and effort.

2. “I Forgot”

Forgetting happens. We’re all human. But when it becomes a habit, especially around things that matter to you? It’s not about memory; it’s about meaning.

This is one of the sneakier excuses liars give.

It softens the blow. It dodges responsibility. And it shifts the focus from “I didn’t care” to “I couldn’t help it.”

But deep down, you feel the difference.

When someone forgets something important to you, what they’re really saying is it wasn’t important to them. And that stings.

Liars lean on forgetfulness when they want a way out without looking heartless. It works until you start noticing the pattern.

So if you’re hearing “I forgot” more than you should, remember this:

Someone who values you remembers you.

And someone who doesn’t? Makes excuses.

3. “I’m Really a Good Person”

This one’s a deflection dressed as virtue.

When caught in a lie, some people won’t own up, they’ll perform. Instead of addressing the truth, they rush to defend their character.

“I’m not like that.” “You know I’m a good person.”

Sound familiar?

It’s one of the most manipulative excuses liars give. Not because they say it, but because it shifts the spotlight away from what they did and onto how they want to be seen.

But actions reveal truth. Not words. Especially when those words are a smokescreen.

Liars use this excuse to protect their image, not your heart. They want forgiveness without accountability. Comfort without change.

Don’t fall for the performance

Good people make mistakes—but they own them. They don’t hide behind the idea of who they wish they were.

4. “I Didn’t Want to Hurt You

On the surface, this sounds sweet. Noble, even.

But don’t be fooled, it’s one of the most emotionally confusing excuses liars give.

By claiming they lied to protect you, the liar turns their deception into a favor. Suddenly, you’re left wondering if you were the one being unreasonable.

That’s the trick.

Truth doesn’t always feel good, but it builds trust. Lies, even with good intentions, slowly chip away at connection.

When someone says, “I didn’t want to hurt you,” what they often mean is… I didn’t want to deal with the consequences.

The surprising truth is that kindness and honesty can coexist. Real love doesn’t hide behind lies. It shows up, even when it’s hard.

So the next time someone says this, ask yourself:

Was it really about protecting your heart, or their own comfort?

5. “No One Told Me It Was Wrong

This one plays innocent, but don’t let it fool you.

It’s one of those excuses liars give when they want to dodge responsibility without causing a scene.

It sounds like

“I didn’t know that would upset you.” “Nobody ever said it was wrong.” “I thought it was fine…”

The truth? Most of us know the basics of right and wrong. Especially when it involves honesty.

This excuse shifts the blame to you for not setting the rules clearly enough. It makes you feel like you somehow failed to explain what should’ve been obvious.

Boundaries matter. So does follow-through.

When someone crosses a boundary and displays confusion afterwards, it’s often not a sign of confusion, but rather of convenience.

You’re allowed to expect integrity without having to teach it.

6. “There’s a Grey Area”

When the facts don’t favor them, liars get creative.

Enter the grey area—where things are “complicated,” “misunderstood,” or “open to interpretation.”

It’s one of the most flexible excuses liars give.

And that’s the problem.

They’ll say:

“That’s not exactly what I said.” “You’re just seeing it differently.” “There are two sides to every story…”

Yes, some situations are complex. But when someone consistently blurs the lines of truth to escape accountability? That’s not nuance; it’s avoidance.

Liars use grey areas to stall, confuse, and protect themselves from being seen clearly. It’s not about truth, it’s about spinning it just enough to stay in control.

But here’s the thing: clarity feels peaceful.

If someone makes you feel constantly confused, it’s time to trust your gut—not their version.

7. “You Would Have Done the Same Thing”

This one aims straight for your empathy—and twists it.

When someone says, “You would’ve done the same,” they’re trying to normalize their behavior by dragging you into it. Suddenly, you’re not the one who was lied to… you’re just like them.

But this is one of the most subtle excuses liars give. It plays on your compassion and your desire to be fair.

The message? “If you would’ve done it too, then I’m not really wrong.”

Here’s the truth:

Just because you could understand someone’s choice doesn’t mean you have to excuse it.

You’re allowed to hold people accountable, even when you care.

Especially when you care.

Empathy isn’t a free pass; it’s a bridge. But, if someone keeps crossing it without honesty?

That’s not connection—it’s manipulation.

No More Lies, Just Lessons

Excuses are easy. Honesty takes guts.

Now that you know the most common excuses liars give, you won’t be fooled by charm or clever words. You’ve got clarity. And clarity is power.

Remember, people show you who they are through patterns, not promises. When someone lies repeatedly, it’s not a mistake—it’s a sign.

You don’t need to confront everyone. Just protect your energy. Set the boundary. Keep the peace.

And if someone keeps making excuses?

Maybe it’s time to make an exit.

Because you deserve truth.

Not stories. Not spin. Just real, honest love.

And that’s non-negotiable.

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