Europe Promises To Get The Electricity Back Up ASAP So Everyone Can Hear The Muslim Calls To Prayer

LISBON — Following massive power grid failures that plunged multiple countries into blackouts, Europe promised its citizens it would get electricity back up as soon as possible so everyone would be able to hear the Muslim call to prayer over the loudspeakers. Officials said they were aware that essential staples of European life, like pausing to pray in the direction of Mecca and asking Allah to grant them bloody victories against the infidels, had been disrupted by the blackouts, but assured everyone the normalcy of assaults and stabbings could resume very soon. "Our way of fundamental Islamic life will continue...