Below Deck Recap: Pissed as a Fart

Tonight, the gang is gallivanting off the yacht, the charter season's first opportunity for extracurricular activity. Except, of course, for Captain Kerry, who is pounding lobster in the crew mess and FaceTiming with his girlfriend. (He's learning Turkish so he can ask her mother for her hand in marriage, which, while sweet, means we will later be ambushed with the Duolingo correct answer sound effect, and there ought to have been a warning because I am triggered.) Over dinner, we learn more about all of them. Barbie had three nannies growing up: one to cook, one to clean, one to do her . . .