America Descends Into Mourning Upon News That Harry And Meghan Are Leaving

U.S. — The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England. Citizens wept openly in the streets, wondering how America would be able to carry on without the charming couple. "No! Not Harry and Meghan! Anyone but them!" cried local man Daniel Simpson. "This is like the Great Depression and 9/11 all rolled into one. I have not stopped crying and punching the wall since I heard the news. We are losing the most delightful and beautiful thing about our...