5 tips to approach your work crush without making it weird — or getting fired

Is it ever worth the risk? (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61)

A work crush can sneak up on you fast. One day, you’re politely holding the lift for them, the next you’re rerouting your walk from the loo just to pass by their desk.

While a bit of flirting might make your 9 to 5 go quicker, it can also land you in some serious trouble — nosy coworkers gossiping, awkward work drinks or even HR getting involved.

But, a 2024 survey found that 43% of respondents who dated a colleague ended up marrying them. So, how do you approach your potential husband or wife-to-be, without putting your job on the line?

Metro spoke to career expert Lynn Burman at Clover HR, for her advice on how to navigate workplace crushes, while avoiding professional disaster.

Step 1: Weigh up the risks 

Before you send a flirty text or ask them out for drinks, take a moment to weigh up the potential consequences. 

‘There was once a saying “don’t play with payroll” because of the risks associated with office romances,’ Lynn says.

‘If things don’t go well there’s a strong likelihood of having to see them every day. It will be uncomfortable and office gossip is highly likely, putting your professional reputation on the line.

‘Consider if you’re willing to risk your job or career progression for a crush, especially if your company discourages workplace relationships.’

Step 2: Ask yourself some tricky questions

So you’ve decided they could be The One for you. Now, Lynn advises some serious reflection. Ask yourself these questions, and be 100% honest with your answers:

Am I really interested in this person, or is it just the setting? Am I prepared for colleagues to find out and possibly gossip about me? Is it worth putting my career goals at risk? What if my manager asks me about it directly? What should I say? Does my workplace have a policy about work relationships that I should look at? Can I carry on as normal if a relationship begins? Or could it be all-consuming? Keep your interactions at work limited (Picture: Getty Images)

Step 3: Don’t use your work devices

Tempted to send a flirty message over Teams? You might want to think again. 

‘Keep any approaches face-to-face or by phone, and any emails should be sent to and from personal email addresses,’ Lynn says.

‘Send any messages strictly during out-of-office hours, and on your personal devices.’

Step 4: Tell your boss

‘Some companies have relationship policies and ask for full disclosure while in the relationship in order to ensure confidentiality clauses are not at risk,’ Lynn says. ‘So make sure you read these thoroughly.’

Even if you don’t strictly have to tell your boss that you’re embarking on a blossoming romance, it’s a good idea to do so.

‘It’s always worth being transparent with your manager,’ she adds.

Step 5: Set boundaries

It’s important to lay some ground rules with your new beau, in order to protect your career.

Lynn says: ‘Keep all interactions professional and avoid discussing personal matters at work.’

While you might not be able to avoid working closely together, try to keep your relationship out of it.

‘If you happen to be collaborating in the same team or on the same project, don’t let your feelings influence your work decisions or performance.’

What happens if the relationship turns sour?

Not every work fling works out – some inevitably end, and not always in a good way. 

‘If a breakup is needed, do it outside of work to keep things private and professional and perhaps even book some time off if needed to process thoughts and emotions,’ Lynn says.  

‘Stay civil and professional at all times, even if it’s awkward. And, if things become too uncomfortable, consider whether a change in team or role is necessary for your well-being and long-term goals.’

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